But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
