people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
