Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
