accomplished twins. life is a go
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
