I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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