My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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