Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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