i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
