Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
