I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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