He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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