I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
