It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
