fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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