I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
zippers are such a cool invention
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
