You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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