grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
