i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
