Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize