Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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