between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize