I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michael Bay diarrhea
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
