respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
