Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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