do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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