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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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• (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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• (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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• 

  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're kidding right?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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• 

  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.

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• (949): View more from California

  You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.

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