morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
