When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
