why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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