Me. At least after what I've been through.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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