He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
