How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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