I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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