my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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