is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
