I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
