I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
