you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
