dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
