Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
