chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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