Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
how can u be prego again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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