i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
