The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
