I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my shit smells like andre
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
