Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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