This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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