That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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