I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
