I want to stick my p in your. b.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
