So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
