She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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