Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
