You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
