Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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