dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
