I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
