if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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