If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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