I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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