they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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