so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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