I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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