Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
