tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
