I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
