Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
