what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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