I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
